We have just over a week until the New Year and less than a week until Christmas. Like most years, I don’t feel very Christmassy and have no New Years Eve plans. I’ve also struggled with buying or making people presents this time around.
I love the act of celebrating and giving gifts that are thoughtful and useful to people you love, but it doesn’t ever really feel like that anymore. It feels like if I don’t have the money or time to get people presents, I’ve failed as a human because it’s constantly sold to us as a necessity. Even my Gran has started saying she doesn’t want anything for Christmas or to buy anything because she’s so tired of the pressure.
I hate getting a useless present for the sake of giving someone a present. I don’t hold a standing to the more you spend the better it is. I buy a lot of presents for people in charity shops, or even gift them something I already have if I think it’s something they would enjoy.
Christmas every year feels like Dudley’s birthday.
“How many are there?”
“36, I counted them myself.”
“36? But last year, last year I had 37!”
“A lot of them are quite a bit bigger than last year-“
“I don’t care how big they are!”
It all feels like consumption and who can out-do who, and what will get me likes on instagram…
I think that spending time with the people you care about is worth so much more than anything you could physically give. I would much rather someone spend the time and money to see me, or go and do something with me, than send me a half-arsed present as an after thought.
I love what the promise New Year brings, and I really miss the parties I had when I was a teenager, I’d like to see what I can pull out last minute. The end of the year really snuck up on me, honestly. I have a lot of personal goals and plans for 2019, I may share them with you in more detail in the New Year. But one of them is to go out and do more things, see more places, alone or with friends.
I’m tired of looking at the same old scenery day after day. I want to see something new.
This is my last post of 2018. It has been a bit of a rollercoaster, but I’ve grown a lot and found my focus. I’ve realised what is important to me and what I want to spend my time on.
Merry Christmas and see you all in the New Year