Boundaries

Hi pals,

I thought it was time to start writing and keeping a boundaries list for how I expect to be interacted with online and will have it automatically linked in all YouTube video descriptions and will be an easy way to copy/paste these to new people.

You choose whether you interact with my work online or not, if you don’t like it or me, you really don’t have to say so. Unless it is VALID critique on something I have said (as I know I don’t know everything, I’m always learning and try to do my best and do appreciate the feedback) I do not want to hear how you don’t like my video, my voice, my body, my topics, etc. And I will block (maybe report) you, and sometimes I will give it back.

Boundaries for when you do not personally know me:

• use my correct name (Artie) do not misgender me and keep your language (when describing me) neutral in gender. I am nonbinary and use they/them pronouns only. Also spell my name correctly.
• NO UNSOLICITED ADVICE. If I want advice, I will ask. This is especially pertinent to anything health related.
• be very aware of being over-familiar with me. unless we have had a discussion, one on one, about what terminology I don’t mind people using, do not assume.
• do not comment on my body or my health.
• if I correct you on any things you have gotten wrong or told you your comment is unwanted (usually because they cross boundaries) you are better off not responding unless you are going to apologise. If your reaction to me questioning why you decided to leave such a comment is to attack me, you are not welcome here and need to do some self reflecting on whether you should be leaving comments at all on anyones posts.
• if you’re an arsehole first, I will be one back. I often give plenty of warnings on posts that I can see taking a turn in the comment section. You entered my space online, to be allowed here and to be treated kindly here, you have to respect me and my boundaries. If you don’t do that, I don’t have to respect or educate you.
• Americans, we know you like to tussle, but sometimes other parts of the world don’t work the same as they do in America. Please stop arguing with us about what does and does not work a certain way. See above, I will laugh at and block you.
• if you are a bigot, you are gone. this is obvious but must be included.
• I choose to share what I choose to share, I don’t mind questions but if I decide not to share anything, I have a reason for it and sometimes the reason is just ‘I’m not ready’ or ‘I’m not comfortable’ and that is enough.
• similar to above, I do not HAVE to respond to comments but I like to do so as much as possible. however, there have been times where someone has continually pestered me, particularly if I have corrected someone or explained why what someone has said is problematic. I am sick. I don’t always have the energy to respond at all, but especially to some of the shittier commenters I have come across in my time. I like to reply and like to have discussions in my comments, but sometimes I am just not able to. Sometimes I will say so, sometimes I wont.
• I can be hot tempered, if I have genuinely misunderstood you, please use some tone indicators and keep your language simple when explaining. I apologise when I have been wrong and have been given the opportunity to realise I may have misunderstood etc. this is easier among my close friends, but as you can guess the internet can be hostile to people like me and I’m often always ready to read comments that will be nasty.
• I have my DMs closed across socials due to spam but also harassment. I only have a very select few channels open for communication and they are purely for work. do not abuse these just to talk to me.
• I cannot emotionally support you. I have had requests over the years to help people one on one to navigate health issues from strangers who can’t even be bothered to get my name right as well as people trauma dumping in my comments or DMs. trigger warnings can be hard, but if you are mentioning anything that is triggering, please try to tag it for myself and other people. my definition of trauma dumping is: things that should probably be reserved for your close friends or a therapist and not a stranger online. however, there are A FEW videos and posts where I specifically say ‘feel free to vent in the comments’ because sometimes you just need permission to vent about a topic, and I think it can be helpful sometimes for others to find a video or post of some kind and see they aren’t alone in that feeling.
• as a media analysis creator, most people and projects I comment on are probably problematic. I may know they are, I may not know they are, sometimes I find out after posting they are. my content is commenting on the content more than the people directly but I like to try and be informed so I do allow and want people to share if someone in what I am discussing is terrible and preferably links as to why as it can be hard to find at times.
• do not make sexual comments towards me or generally in my comment section.
• this is a political place. all my videos will have some level of politics because my life is politicised. I don’t know ‘what’ I identify my politics as exactly, but along the lines of socialism/communism and am very vocal about taking down capitalism. if you don’t like that, this is not the space for you.
• don’t take my words out of context or twist my words. as I have said before, I don’t mind answering questions so if you are confused about something, I’d rather you ask and I can try to clarify (if I feel up to it)
• I am disabled. I have numerous energy limiting conditions so there are things that fall through the cracks. I’d like to eventually pay someone to help improve access on my socials, and sometimes I miss comments, etc. please do not hound me about things that may be impacted by this (and I specifically mean hound me, again, I don’t mind questions or prompting here and there, but when it passes into continued hounding…)
• I don’t have political debates with people on the other end of the political spectrum to me or anyone showing they aren’t interested in learning and are here just to debate me. if your ‘politics’ mean someone cannot live a safe free life when they have done no harm, I am not interested in talking to you. I do not have to respect your choices actually, particularly when you do not respect people’s lives.
• nuance is important. things aren’t black and white (says the BPD autistic) but the internet often makes things that way. I don’t engage in bad faith arguments like this.

This is my first draft and this will be an ever developing page. If there is anything I haven’t mentioned here that you are unclear on, please just leave a comment on this post with your question or suggestion!

I want my space online to be for other people like me, and for people different from me to learn about our experiences. I also just want to have fun talking about media. A ‘safe space’ does not truly exist as needs conflict. I cannot promise a safe space for everyone. And most of what I post about is MY experience, often supported with research studies, but the base of it is MY experience. It is not possible to capture every experience in the videos I make.

~ Artie

they/them xoxo