I wanted to talk through some of the gross diet culture of January, how I avoid it, and what I spend January doing instead! Content Warning, this will talk about things like calorie counting, dieting, EDs, and more along those lines.
I spend a lot of my year using a food tracking app and sticking to a rough calorie goal. I've found now that I'm 10 years (ish) into my eating disorder recovery, I don't find calories triggering anymore, and I have a healthier relationship to food and my relationship with it. I've had a lot go on in my life around food that I didn't understand, I talk through that in more detail in my video on my channel The ED Diaries, and a little in my ADHD Journey blog post if you want to know more about that so I don't repeat myself too much. I've had to deal with a lot of triggers like weight gain from life saving medication and restricting certain ingredients/foods for my Crohn's disease as well as re-introducing seafood back into my diet after 10 years vegetarian.
If you follow me elsewhere on the internet, you may have seen that I was diagnosed with ADHD on October 6th 2021. It has been a long journey, I gave a brief summary in my first video discussing my ADHD Graveyard of how I got here but I wanted to give further details of the full journey I have been on.
My initial self reflection began with questioning if I am Autistic. It seems like a lot of people are usually the reverse, they were diagnosed ADHD and then started to wonder if they we also Autistic. I've had numerous friends in my life diagnosed Autistic and they were some of the first people I ever really went "damn, you get me," about anyone. And the one person I knew had ADHD, we had a rocky friendship that ended up in a pretty solid understanding of each other. Reflecting on these friendships I had (but also all my other interactions I remember) made me see more and more traits and gave me more clarity on why some circumstances even happened. It was because people could see my neurodivergent traits and didn't like them.
I’ve been talking about feeling uninspired for a while and even when I have ideas for posts, I find the motivation to actually create them isn’t there. I’ve been writing more for my WIP and the inspiration and motivation to do that is slim and far between, I don’t want to be trying to force myself to write for my blog and burn out on it and sabotage the progress I’m making on my WIP. So generally the plan is every two weeks will be a post on the blog rather than weekly for a while. I may not even do that depending on how I’m feeling. But the monotonous repetitive cycle that is my existence at the moment makes it hard to write for my blog when all I want to do is complain!
The first thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up was an artist. I let the dream go a long time ago. maybe it’s more that I felt like the kind of art I liked to create wouldn’t sell. No one would want my work. Clearly I’ve been proven wrong! I’ve sold 6 pieces this year, which is very crazy to me. The thought of my art being on display in people’s houses is... I don't know it's hard to explain how I feel. I never thought this would be a thing! Thank you everyone who has shared my work!!